Wednesday, June 21, 2023
The End
I can't think of a lot of endings that I have loved as I usually don't want a book - that I love - to end. One fresh in my mind is Gone Girl as I recently rewatched the movie and the ending is the same as the book and the ending is just crazy. The ending is unsettling as Nick stays with Amy despite her insanity given that she is having her baby. Wow, I just reread that line and that seems like a summary of a Young and the Restless story. Meanwhile, Amy believes she has won and succeeding in keeping her husband with her forever. I read one review or summary that it highlights the complexities of a marriage/relationship, really? It makes me think of another one of my favorite books, The Talented Mr. Ripley, where the main characters gets away with everything and gets a reward at the end. A lot of books have endings where everything is wrapped up with no loose ends like Crime and Punishment where Raskolnikov goes to prison for what he has done.
Monday, June 12, 2023
Order Up!
I pulled the spray handle down and rinsed the dishes, placing them on the trays before pushing them onto the conveyor belt pulling them through the washer. Steam rolled from the floor length contraption as I, the lone worker in the kitchen, emptied the bus tubs were loudly placed on the shiny, stainless steel counter to the right. I wiped the sweat from my brow, dumping the uneaten food through the hole in the counter into the trash bin below.
I looked up at the clock, nine o'clock, only two more hours before I was free with a book report needing completion for school tomorrow. I absently tugged on the trash bin. You had to be careful with how much it contained as water was deposited with the food. The result was a tripling of the weight, the one time I had let it completely full resulted in recruiting two other guys to lift it into the dumpster outside.
As the washer whirred, I turned and leaned against the counter, suddenly realizing I had not seen another person in quite some time. We were nearing closing time, so where did everybody go? Where was my help? I strolled through the swinging door out of the kitchen into the open cooking area and the restaurant. There were seven, seven individuals including the manager. They were sitting, laughing, talking about who knows what with all of the customers gone. There were still tables to be cleaned, which went with kitchen duty.
"There is a lot to clean back there before closing." I announced to the gathered group with no response. The irritation gathered in my system, percolating.
"I really could use some help." I turned and directed this to the night manager - a man I had delivered money to a few weeks prior to cover gambling debts at a local pool hall. He raised his hands as if he had no control.
The agitation within me grew, my body tense, I stood motionless for a few minutes, staring straight past everybody, through the front windows and out into the now empty mall. I could see the nearby fountain, remembering a friend and I scooping out the loose change depositing by shoppers making wishes. It was enough to buy us a pizza that night. I smiled for just a minute before turning and returning to the kitchen.
I tossed my apron on the counter as the dish washer continued to run, now with nothing inside. I hit the button to shut it down. I walked to the far wall, removed my time card, clocked out and returned the time card to its slot on the wall. I found my coat and slowly put it on, one eye on the door as there was still time for somebody to step through that door and provide assistance. The silence of the storage room surrounded me before the decision was finalized. I picked up my apron before walking through swinging door again.
"You'll have to find somebody to finish the dishes and cleanup now." The manager looked up and turned towards as my apron hit his face and landed with a thud on the edge of his desk.
"Hey, calm down." He stood and faced me, letting the apron fall to the floor. He stepped over it towards me.
"I quit!" I raised my hand and flashed my middle finger to all of them.
The car started easily for a change with an uneventful and peaceful drive home.
Thursday, June 8, 2023
Show Up
In the grand panorama of life, in this story, that is your own,
Listen, dear graduates, to the wisdom, age-old and known,
You stand on the precipice of dreams, of possibilities unfurled,
Ready to etch your vibrant colors on the canvas of the world.
Show up, dear dreamers, show up, let your presence shine,
In moments great or humble, in the ordinary, find the divine.
Awaken in the dawn of every day, every moment seize,
For the magic of your journey lies in these myriad entities.
Each tick of the clock, each beat of your heart,
Is a chance for you, a new path to chart.
Every choice you make, every step you tread,
Lays the foundation for the life ahead.
The classroom, the workplace, the world so wide,
Need not only your mind, but your heart beside,
The power of presence, so simple, yet profound,
In the echo of your footsteps, let this truth resound.
Showing up, isn’t merely about being there,
But weaving threads of empathy, of love, of care,
For life is a mosaic of moments, strung like beads,
And the beauty emerges when each one intercedes.
Show up for the laughter, the joy and the cheer,
But also for the trials, the struggles, the tear.
Show up for your loved ones, in their joy and strife,
Because your presence might just be the light of their life.
To show up is to honor the precious gift of time,
To echo back to life, a melody sublime,
It's the soft whisper in the silence, the strength in the crowd,
The courage in the chaos, a voice gentle, yet loud.
So show up, dear graduates, for this journey, so vast,
Embrace each sunrise, be present, till the very last.
Remember, every moment is but a brush stroke in your art,
So show up, be present, gift the world the grace of your heart.
Tuesday, June 6, 2023
Namesake
I had a friend, or so I thought, in middle school and halfway through high school that shared my first name - the two Tony's. We were always cutting up and laughing in middle school, teachers would separate us to stop the disruptions. The one and only time I was disciplined was because of him - both of us standing facing the wall with hands on it like we were being searched by police. Mr. Williams proceeded to get a fellow teacher to witness as he delivered a blow with his paddle that he nicknamed The Enforcer. It was punishment for throwing water in science class that finished with a note to my Mom stating "Tony was throwing H2O in class" and my convincing her that was water and not acid or some other harmful substance.
He was a Jehovah's Witness that was only a problem when we attended sporting events and his refusal to stand for the national anthem was an issue for those around us. His family called me a Worldly, but they never recruited me which seemed odd. We often played basketball together and he would demean me as teams were chosen. He would never choose me and as we entered high school the unkind treatment increased. He gravitated to more popular classmates and often ignored me until the others were not present. I detached from him during our sophomore year as his attitude worsened. Also, he basically gave up doing schoolwork since his religion discouraged higher education. It is odd to reflect on our so-called friendship and realize the pervasiveness of the bullying. One positive for myself is I faced him (his team) in a local basketball tournament a few years after high school and my team winning and my outperforming him. He tried to reconnect after that game, but I moved on to better people and friends.
Monday, June 5, 2023
Refuge
I love libraries and bookstores and the only explanation I have for that (other than loving books) is they were refuge during my formative years. I did not spend a lot of time in my school library other than assigned class time in there, but I did spend a lot of time in the main branch of our city library system. I would beg my Mom to take me there every chance possible. It is located at the edge of downtown Louisville. The building itself is grand with it described as a Victorian-style Carnegie structure. There is a library museum in the basement and a display space on the main level where art installations and historical presentations are setup.
Any time I could get a ride to the library, I would walk through the giant doors and breath in the wonderful library smell. I would browse the display space and possibly learn something before heading upstairs to the main stacks. I would grab books on any subjects that were in my mind at that point plus some fiction selections. The limit was ten books at a time, and I never had less than ten. There were numerous fines to be paid, and I always had to pay with my own money. As we rode home, I would run my hands over the books, pull out the check out cards in the back and view the other times the books had been checked out. Once home, I would disappear in my room with the stack and tackle a few books - I can remember many times trodding through a book that was clearly over my head, but I tried and many other times the books were just what I needed.
The books served as my companion during many hard times and the library itself was like a cathedral. My brother often teased me about the books and library and Mom never liked driving downtown, but I appreciate the fact that she did. As I reflect back on those days, I see the books provided plenty of learning and fantasy, but they also provided hope of better times which did happen. I actually lived close to the main library branch in college and it never lost its luster. While I don't go there often these days, I still provide support and hope it helps others but now the Internet offers a gateway not available long ago.
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