Things about you

You're taller than you think.
Your self-esteem is based on what others think of you.
People tell you that you look great, but actually you're a bit chubby.
You're into porn, but you don't tell anybody.
You are nowhere near as smart as you think - and people know it.
You like to tell everybody you are happy, but you're not.
You laugh about your inability to lie when actually you are a great liar.
You rearrange the cookies in the box to hide the fact you ate some.
You said it was the first time doing it, but it was the second and the second found about the first and it was over.
You hate it when people sit on your bed.

Ceremony

He chatted with an old friend while stealing a glance at the group every few seconds. He instantly recognized the black dress and her hair was straight - as he always liked it. The boy on the cusp of manhood stood nearby talking to his grandmother. The silky gown was a mess as it hung open. Somehow the square cap maintained its position with the tassel dancing with every word and laugh

Everything moved in slow motion as his courage rose. Finally, he turned to join the group. His mouth hung open as he watched the father wrap an arm around her shoulders and smile. The words were easy to decipher as the father congratulated with "well, we did it." He didn't expect her to correct or even comment on the statement, but the smile seemed to validate it.

His footsteps halted as her eyes fell upon him and the smile was quickly gone. He froze, as he was suddenly an outsider as more eyes surveyed his body. Each stare felt like a bullet as they penetrated the once tough outer shell.

He tilted his head and slowly scratched it while wondering what to do next. He looked up just as the boy approached and hugged him. Nobody would ever understand the importance of that gesture. How could anybody understand saving a life with a simple hug?

His eyes scanned the crowd as they talked. He wanted to mark his place and reason for attending with a speech. He wanted to let everyone know his role. He knew that deep down they were aware, but he would never hear it.

He discussed the ceremony and the future with the boy before releasing him to other duties. Her hand on his arm was startling. He swallowed hard while meeting her smile. It was a smile that never lost its touch - he melted. There were more kind words from her and she quickly dismissed the conversation he had witnessed.

He commented on the dress and she acknowledged knowing it was his favorite along with the hair style. He was suddenly filled with exhuberance as the signs were nothing but positive. After all, why would she go to so much troulbe to be nice to him and adjust her appearance for his enjoyment? The future suddenly looked bright as he remembered their glory days.

The elation was gone as quickly as it arrived when another man approached and placed a hand on her shoulder. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried as the pain and sense of loss erupted inside. The cold water from the bathroom sink felt good as he examined the older version of himself in the mirror. He knew he had to be here for the boy. He promised himself a bottle of gin as a reward for surving the evening while drying his face.

Take cover

You can run into my arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
Come into me
There's no distance in between our love
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because
When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella

Discovery

"Who is Diane?"

Her voice echoed through the hallway as I closed the door behind me. I froze momentarily as the face appeared in my mind. The anger washed over me but fear quickly smothered it as I wondered about the origin of the question.

"Did you hear me?" The irritation was hard to miss.

"Yeah, what? Why, what's going on?" Yes, a mistake as you never answer a question with a question as it clearly demonstrates stalling.

"That's what I thought."

The echo vanished as she appeared behind me as I placed my coat in the hall closet. I laid my gloves on the shelf as my eyes caught her leather gloves in the usual spot. The gloves had been a gift from me during our second Christmas together. I smiled remembering the time she had dropped them in the middle of a busy highway - I had retrieved and rescued them with saddle soap as she dismissed the work.

"What is so funny?" She appeared to my right. She examined my face in disbelief that I found anything funny about the situation.

"I was remembering the gloves and the rescue." We had always called it the rescue.

"Yeah, great, did you fix something for her too?" She stood firm with arms crossed awaiting an answer.

"Who?" Yes, it was idiotic to play stupid, but I still didn't know what to say.

"Whom."

"Whatever." I hated being correct and she knew it.

I turned away from her and started toward the kitchen as a sharp pain erupted in my shoulder blade. It was immediately followed by a loud thud on the hardwood floor. I spun around to meet her ice cold stare. My eyes floated to the floor as I noticed a book at my feet. I mumbled the title as the fact that she had thrown it registered in my mind.

"What the hell? I told you to be careful with my books!" I squatted and retrieved the hardbound treasure. The pages where not damaged as I closed and examined the spine. Panic filled the pit of my stomach as I recognized the title - The Talented Mr. Ripley. It is one of my favorite novels with this particular volume being a gift from Diane. I stayed down on my haunches, wanting to remain in that position forever and never have to raise and meet her angry face and questions.

"Did SHE give it to you?"

"Who are you talking about?" I couldn't fathom how she knew about the giver. I felt sweat on my forehead as I slowly opened the front cover to reveal a handwritten note on the blank page. I was both mad at Diane for vandalizing such a fine book and mad at myself for forgetting the note.

My mind wandered back to the night she sit across from me in the dim pizza joint by the river. She smiled, that wonderful smile, and pushed the gift across the table. I tore the bright red wrapping paper like a kid at Christmas. She moved to my side of the table and read the note to me as I examined it. Her hand in my lap extinguished the anger at her handwriting ruining the novel. It was the last time I had opened it as I already owned a copy, but I couldn't figure out why the wife had discovered it.

"It seems like she knew you very well. I particularly like that last line where she comments on your own talents."

"Well, we did work together." I was going to put up more of a fight, but the note in the book was more revealing and taudry than I would ever be.

"Yeah, you always did work too much."

"Look, I am sorry."

"Yes, you are and you will be." She turned and disappeared in the bedroom with the door slamming. I felt dizzy as I watched her disappear.

The end

He froze as their eyes met. His initial reaction was to back up and leave, but he swallowed hard while deciding to approach her. The butterflies swirled in his stomach as he approached.

"Hey." His voice was barely audible as he forced a smile.

"Hi." The flat response was accompanied by a frown and angry stare.

"How are your doing?" He continued to step lightly totally unaware that it did not matter what was said.

"How am I doing? You want to know how I am doing?" She crossed her arms as her lips tightened.

"Well, yeah, that is why I asked." He retreated one step while quickly locating the exit for future reference.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing just thought I'd say hello."

"Really, well isn't that grand. YOU want to know how I am doing. How the fuck do you think I am doing?" She jabbed at the air in his general direction.

"Well, I'm sorry, again, let's just forget it." He slowly turned, hoping an exit was possible without further trouble.

"Oh, you walking out again? Isn't this poetic." Her voice continued to rise while asking everybody and nobody to look at what was happening.

"It just seemed like you didn't want to talk, at least not to me." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her while avoiding eye contact.

"Oh, I wanted to talk months ago but your fat ass wanted no part of it. Or, wait, you talked a lot - total bullshit - and I played stupid and believed you." Both hands were now on her hips as she talked. A small amount of spittle formed in the corner of her mouth.

"Okay." It was the fiery temperament he had loved, but there was no energy for an argument at the moment.

"Aren't you Mr. Agreeable? Let me tell you something. You're a fucking liar. How's that? Does it sound about right? And, how am I doing? I'm so glad you care, bastard. I am terrible. You ruined my life, but then again I guess that is what you wanted all along."

"Okay." He hoped the speech was over as she continued to seethe. As he contemplated the moment, maybe it was something that she needed to get out. He glanced sideways at the television above the bar as she collected her breathe - he was just able to catch the score before she started again.

"Okay? That is all you have to say after this long? Tell me, does your family know that you are here talking to me or are they putty in your hands as well? Do you know what you did to me? Do you understand?" Her face shined with perspiration. She wiped the hair from her eyes, but it resisted as it bonded with the moisture as maintained its position.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." He realized the mistake he had made. He had dreamed of talking to her again - telling her about his upcoming move; the volunteering; the short story to be published; and the total collapse of his family, but as usual he miscalculated the anger and hatred.

"Oh, you're good at those words. Unfortunately, it doesn't mean shit coming from you. I am so sorry I ever met you." She approached a nearby table and drained the contents of a glass. She wiped her mouth the back of her hand and grabbed a cigarette - lighting it in one quick motion. The gesture of an experienced smoker.

"Smoking again?" His eyes returned to the television as more scores scrolled across the bottom of the screen.

"Why does it matter? Like I want to live any longer than I have to." She flicked ashes in an ashtray on the table while awaiting a response.

"Yeah, that's a great attitude." He knew the sarcasm was another miscalculation as the words materialized, but it was too late.

"Oh, you judging me now? You know, I think I've been judged by everybody these days, but you, you are in no position to judge anybody. You're a fucking liar who only cares about himself."

"Obviously, that just isn't true. I've said I'm sorry over and over. I should go." Her tone was quickly dissipating into the weepy self-contempt that nobody should have to bear.

"Fuck you and your sorries. Yeah, go ahead and leave. You take everything from me, so go live your happy life - you got what you wanted." A small tear appeared in the corner of her eye, but she quickly wiped it away.

"Yeah, well let me tell you something - I lost the one thing I always said - although you never seemed to listen - I couldn't lose. Do I blame you? No, it is my own fault, but I will never forgive myself for it. So, go home and writhe in self-pity while there are others in the world with problems." He hated himself for responding, but a nerve had been struck.

"Well, finally, I have some good news. That is great." The smoke flowed from her nose as she chuckled and erupted into a full laugh. She smiled as another drink arrived and she sampled it.

"Well, it is nice to see you smile again." He felt the flames of anger fill his body, and something happened. He wanted to reach out and grab her pale neck and slam her head into the table. For the first time, he felt what everybody else felt about her - he saw the true person and it saddened him. He swallowed hard as his right hand trembled. He felt the coldness return and realized that she would never bother his conscience again. He hoped he would never see or hear from her again.

"Oh, what's wrong, did I upset you? Did somebody actually hurt you for once?" Her eyes stayed on him as she swallowed more liquor.

"Yeah, that was well played. I think you got what you wanted." He pushed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans as he cared less about what she said as the time passed.

"No, I didn't get what I wanted and you know that. So, are you still a liar or have you changed your ways?" Another cigarette appeared in her hand as she motioned to the waiter for another drink.

"Not really, once the truth is out there is no more reason to lie." He resisted the urge to point out her own lies, but apparently only his counted. He wanted to tell her that he had discovered a few of her own lies in addition to the obvious ones. He wanted to ask how a relationship created and maintained on a foundation of lies could ever survive when the lying was no longer necessary. He swallowed hard to resist the temptation to argue and give in to the baiting and flashed a grin while looking at his watch.

"I wish you would have discovered the truth sooner. You are such a coward." She dropped the remnants of a cigarette and squashed it with her foot while watching his face.

"You're right, I'm sorry." He took a step back while dismissing her observation. He was now fully aware of the bullet he had dodged and relief swept over him. He glanced at his watch again while preparing to leave.

"Oh, you gotta get home to the family? Isn't that so sweet."

"No, not really. I just have to go. It was great seeing you again, you look great." He resisted the urge to provide the details of his new lay as he turned to leave. He thought he heard her say something as he reached the door, but he ignored it and pushed the door to exit. He smiled as a weight lifted from his shoulders. The therapeutic nature of the chance encounter was surprising. The cool night air was soothing as he stood at the curb with cars racing by.