He froze as their eyes met. His initial
reaction was to back up and leave, but he swallowed hard while deciding to
approach her. The butterflies swirled in his stomach as he approached.
"Hey." His voice was barely audible as he forced a smile.
"Hi." The flat response was accompanied by a frown and angry stare.
"How are your doing?" He continued to step lightly totally unaware that it did not matter what was said.
"How am I doing? You want to know how I am doing?" She crossed her arms as her lips tightened.
"Well, yeah, that is why I asked." He retreated one step while quickly locating the exit for future reference.
"What do you want?"
"Nothing just thought I'd say hello."
"Really, well isn't that grand. YOU want to know how I am doing. How the fuck do you think I am doing?" She jabbed at the air in his general direction.
"Well, I'm sorry, again, let's just forget it." He slowly turned, hoping an exit was possible without further trouble.
"Oh, you walking out again? Isn't this poetic." Her voice continued to rise while asking everybody and nobody to look at what was happening.
"It just seemed like you didn't want to talk, at least not to me." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her while avoiding eye contact.
"Oh, I wanted to talk months ago but your fat ass wanted no part of it. Or, wait, you talked a lot - total bullshit - and I played stupid and believed you." Both hands were now on her hips as she talked. A small amount of spittle formed in the corner of her mouth.
"Okay." It was the fiery temperament he had loved, but there was no energy for an argument at the moment.
"Aren't you Mr. Agreeable? Let me tell you something. You're a fucking liar. How's that? Does it sound about right? And, how am I doing? I'm so glad you care, bastard. I am terrible. You ruined my life, but then again I guess that is what you wanted all along."
"Okay." He hoped the speech was over as she continued to seethe. As he contemplated the moment, maybe it was something that she needed to get out. He glanced sideways at the television above the bar as she collected her breathe - he was just able to catch the score before she started again.
"Okay? That is all you have to say after this long? Tell me, does your family know that you are here talking to me or are they putty in your hands as well? Do you know what you did to me? Do you understand?" Her face shined with perspiration. She wiped the hair from her eyes, but it resisted as it bonded with the moisture as maintained its position.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." He realized the mistake he had made. He had dreamed of talking to her again - telling her about his upcoming move; the volunteering; the short story to be published; and the total collapse of his family, but as usual he miscalculated the anger and hatred.
"Oh, you're good at those words. Unfortunately, it doesn't mean shit coming from you. I am so sorry I ever met you." She approached a nearby table and drained the contents of a glass. She wiped her mouth the back of her hand and grabbed a cigarette - lighting it in one quick motion. The gesture of an experienced smoker.
"Smoking again?" His eyes returned to the television as more scores scrolled across the bottom of the screen.
"Why does it matter? Like I want to live any longer than I have to." She flicked ashes in an ashtray on the table while awaiting a response.
"Yeah, that's a great attitude." He knew the sarcasm was another miscalculation as the words materialized, but it was too late.
"Oh, you judging me now? You know, I think I've been judged by everybody these days, but you, you are in no position to judge anybody. You're a fucking liar who only cares about himself."
"Obviously, that just isn't true. I've said I'm sorry over and over. I should go." Her tone was quickly dissipating into the weepy self-contempt that nobody should have to bear.
"Fuck you and your sorries. Yeah, go ahead and leave. You take everything from me, so go live your happy life - you got what you wanted." A small tear appeared in the corner of her eye, but she quickly wiped it away.
"Yeah, well let me tell you something - I lost the one thing I always said - although you never seemed to listen - I couldn't lose. Do I blame you? No, it is my own fault, but I will never forgive myself for it. So, go home and writhe in self-pity while there are others in the world with problems." He hated himself for responding, but a nerve had been struck.
"Well, finally, I have some good news. That is great." The smoke flowed from her nose as she chuckled and erupted into a full laugh. She smiled as another drink arrived and she sampled it.
"Well, it is nice to see you smile again." He felt the flames of anger fill his body, and something happened. He wanted to reach out and grab her pale neck and slam her head into the table. For the first time, he felt what everybody else felt about her - he saw the true person and it saddened him. He swallowed hard as his right hand trembled. He felt the coldness return and realized that she would never bother his conscience again. He hoped he would never see or hear from her again.
"Oh, what's wrong, did I upset you? Did somebody actually hurt you for once?" Her eyes stayed on him as she swallowed more liquor.
"Yeah, that was well played. I think you got what you wanted." He pushed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans as he cared less about what she said as the time passed.
"No, I didn't get what I wanted and you know that. So, are you still a liar or have you changed your ways?" Another cigarette appeared in her hand as she motioned to the waiter for another drink.
"Not really, once the truth is out there is no more reason to lie." He resisted the urge to point out her own lies, but apparently only his counted. He wanted to tell her that he had discovered a few of her own lies in addition to the obvious ones. He wanted to ask how a relationship created and maintained on a foundation of lies could ever survive when the lying was no longer necessary. He swallowed hard to resist the temptation to argue and give in to the baiting and flashed a grin while looking at his watch.
"I wish you would have discovered the truth sooner. You are such a coward." She dropped the remnants of a cigarette and squashed it with her foot while watching his face.
"You're right, I'm sorry." He took a step back while dismissing her observation. He was now fully aware of the bullet he had dodged and relief swept over him. He glanced at his watch again while preparing to leave.
"Oh, you gotta get home to the family? Isn't that so sweet."
"No, not really. I just have to go. It was great seeing you again, you look great." He resisted the urge to provide the details of his new lay as he turned to leave. He thought he heard her say something as he reached the door, but he ignored it and pushed the door to exit. He smiled as a weight lifted from his shoulders. The therapeutic nature of the chance encounter was surprising. The cool night air was soothing as he stood at the curb with cars racing by.
"Hey." His voice was barely audible as he forced a smile.
"Hi." The flat response was accompanied by a frown and angry stare.
"How are your doing?" He continued to step lightly totally unaware that it did not matter what was said.
"How am I doing? You want to know how I am doing?" She crossed her arms as her lips tightened.
"Well, yeah, that is why I asked." He retreated one step while quickly locating the exit for future reference.
"What do you want?"
"Nothing just thought I'd say hello."
"Really, well isn't that grand. YOU want to know how I am doing. How the fuck do you think I am doing?" She jabbed at the air in his general direction.
"Well, I'm sorry, again, let's just forget it." He slowly turned, hoping an exit was possible without further trouble.
"Oh, you walking out again? Isn't this poetic." Her voice continued to rise while asking everybody and nobody to look at what was happening.
"It just seemed like you didn't want to talk, at least not to me." He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her while avoiding eye contact.
"Oh, I wanted to talk months ago but your fat ass wanted no part of it. Or, wait, you talked a lot - total bullshit - and I played stupid and believed you." Both hands were now on her hips as she talked. A small amount of spittle formed in the corner of her mouth.
"Okay." It was the fiery temperament he had loved, but there was no energy for an argument at the moment.
"Aren't you Mr. Agreeable? Let me tell you something. You're a fucking liar. How's that? Does it sound about right? And, how am I doing? I'm so glad you care, bastard. I am terrible. You ruined my life, but then again I guess that is what you wanted all along."
"Okay." He hoped the speech was over as she continued to seethe. As he contemplated the moment, maybe it was something that she needed to get out. He glanced sideways at the television above the bar as she collected her breathe - he was just able to catch the score before she started again.
"Okay? That is all you have to say after this long? Tell me, does your family know that you are here talking to me or are they putty in your hands as well? Do you know what you did to me? Do you understand?" Her face shined with perspiration. She wiped the hair from her eyes, but it resisted as it bonded with the moisture as maintained its position.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." He realized the mistake he had made. He had dreamed of talking to her again - telling her about his upcoming move; the volunteering; the short story to be published; and the total collapse of his family, but as usual he miscalculated the anger and hatred.
"Oh, you're good at those words. Unfortunately, it doesn't mean shit coming from you. I am so sorry I ever met you." She approached a nearby table and drained the contents of a glass. She wiped her mouth the back of her hand and grabbed a cigarette - lighting it in one quick motion. The gesture of an experienced smoker.
"Smoking again?" His eyes returned to the television as more scores scrolled across the bottom of the screen.
"Why does it matter? Like I want to live any longer than I have to." She flicked ashes in an ashtray on the table while awaiting a response.
"Yeah, that's a great attitude." He knew the sarcasm was another miscalculation as the words materialized, but it was too late.
"Oh, you judging me now? You know, I think I've been judged by everybody these days, but you, you are in no position to judge anybody. You're a fucking liar who only cares about himself."
"Obviously, that just isn't true. I've said I'm sorry over and over. I should go." Her tone was quickly dissipating into the weepy self-contempt that nobody should have to bear.
"Fuck you and your sorries. Yeah, go ahead and leave. You take everything from me, so go live your happy life - you got what you wanted." A small tear appeared in the corner of her eye, but she quickly wiped it away.
"Yeah, well let me tell you something - I lost the one thing I always said - although you never seemed to listen - I couldn't lose. Do I blame you? No, it is my own fault, but I will never forgive myself for it. So, go home and writhe in self-pity while there are others in the world with problems." He hated himself for responding, but a nerve had been struck.
"Well, finally, I have some good news. That is great." The smoke flowed from her nose as she chuckled and erupted into a full laugh. She smiled as another drink arrived and she sampled it.
"Well, it is nice to see you smile again." He felt the flames of anger fill his body, and something happened. He wanted to reach out and grab her pale neck and slam her head into the table. For the first time, he felt what everybody else felt about her - he saw the true person and it saddened him. He swallowed hard as his right hand trembled. He felt the coldness return and realized that she would never bother his conscience again. He hoped he would never see or hear from her again.
"Oh, what's wrong, did I upset you? Did somebody actually hurt you for once?" Her eyes stayed on him as she swallowed more liquor.
"Yeah, that was well played. I think you got what you wanted." He pushed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans as he cared less about what she said as the time passed.
"No, I didn't get what I wanted and you know that. So, are you still a liar or have you changed your ways?" Another cigarette appeared in her hand as she motioned to the waiter for another drink.
"Not really, once the truth is out there is no more reason to lie." He resisted the urge to point out her own lies, but apparently only his counted. He wanted to tell her that he had discovered a few of her own lies in addition to the obvious ones. He wanted to ask how a relationship created and maintained on a foundation of lies could ever survive when the lying was no longer necessary. He swallowed hard to resist the temptation to argue and give in to the baiting and flashed a grin while looking at his watch.
"I wish you would have discovered the truth sooner. You are such a coward." She dropped the remnants of a cigarette and squashed it with her foot while watching his face.
"You're right, I'm sorry." He took a step back while dismissing her observation. He was now fully aware of the bullet he had dodged and relief swept over him. He glanced at his watch again while preparing to leave.
"Oh, you gotta get home to the family? Isn't that so sweet."
"No, not really. I just have to go. It was great seeing you again, you look great." He resisted the urge to provide the details of his new lay as he turned to leave. He thought he heard her say something as he reached the door, but he ignored it and pushed the door to exit. He smiled as a weight lifted from his shoulders. The therapeutic nature of the chance encounter was surprising. The cool night air was soothing as he stood at the curb with cars racing by.
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