The afternoon sun fills the room as dishes and
pans bang in the backround. A group of young waitresses huddle nearby,
exchanging gossip and rumors only they care about. The restaurant is mostly
empty with the lunch crowd returned to their workplaces.
"I'm sorry." He says while taking a seat opposite her.
"It's okay, I haven't been waiting long." She moves her purse to the floor near her chair, double-checking its location with her eyes before returning the focus to him.
"That's good, but I am really sorry, sorry for everything." He dries his palms on his jeans while summoning the courage to meet her eyes. The eyes that still fill his dreams.
"Wow, you don't waste any time."
"I had to get it out, I've been waiting to say it."
"You know, you've said that before. I'm not sure it means much at this point. It's easy to say it after you've done, well, we know what you did. You ruined my life." Her lips wrap around the straw as she drains half of the drink before looking at him again.
"What more can I say? I am sorry, I mean, I've typed it so many times, but the courage never arrives to actually send it. I've called quite a few times, well, dialed six of the numbers, but it seemed better just to leave you alone." He unsuccessfuly motions at the waitress for a water.
"So, why are we here today?" She gains the attention of the waitress and watches as he orders.
"Why?"
"Yeah, this is far from leaving me alone? You send me a weird, long ass letter, vague as usual, so of course I show up, being a idiot as usual." Her drink splashes across the table as she slams down the glass - the waitress, all waitresses, turn to investigate.
"I just wanted a chance to see you again, an opportunity to apologize." He fishes the lemon from the water with the straw. It bounces as it hits the table.
"I was scared. I was confused. I didn't know what I was doing. The drinking and other stuff didn't help."
"And I knew what I was doing?"
"No, I didn't mean that, I can never justify anything, I can never go back, I'd go back in time and change everything if I could, but that is unrealistic. I want your forgiveness." His hands grip the table, holding back the urge to reach across the table. A door to the kitchen swings open nearby and a wave of air crosses the table, covering him with her scent, a scent he had never forgotten.
"You can't have it."
"What?"
"I said, you can't have my forgiveness. I gave you everything else, but that is one thing that you can't have. You were, I mean are, a selfish prick, so live with it." She drains the rest of the drink while reaching for her purse.
"I love you, I always have and I always will." He looks away, seeing her car in the parking lot.
"Yeah, so you said." She pauses with purse in lap while watching him.
"You don't believe me?"
"No, I do, and that is the problem. It is an easy thing to say, but harder to do it. Your actions never matched your words. I know you are working your twelve step thingy, so move on to somebody else. I'm not sure why you put all that shit in your letter." She dabs at her eyes with the napkin, trying to avoid crying.
"Well, I have a problem, well lots of problems, but I need to work these steps and try to be a better person. I kind of knew you'd never forgive me, and you're not alone with that sentiment, but I had to try. You were the one and I blew it and I have to live with that fact."
"Yeah, I have to live with it to, you're always thinking about yourself."
"I never stopped thinking about you."
"Well, you need to."
The chair moans as she pushes away from the table and stands, stopping briefly to double-check she has everything. She flashes a frown and moves quickly for the door. He turns and watches the woman he loves, knowing he has lost her forever, knowing there is nothing he can or ever will be able to say to get her back. He swallows hard, fighting back tears, as his eyes fall on her drink - he reaches for the glass and shakes while contemplating the next move.
"I'm sorry." He says while taking a seat opposite her.
"It's okay, I haven't been waiting long." She moves her purse to the floor near her chair, double-checking its location with her eyes before returning the focus to him.
"That's good, but I am really sorry, sorry for everything." He dries his palms on his jeans while summoning the courage to meet her eyes. The eyes that still fill his dreams.
"Wow, you don't waste any time."
"I had to get it out, I've been waiting to say it."
"You know, you've said that before. I'm not sure it means much at this point. It's easy to say it after you've done, well, we know what you did. You ruined my life." Her lips wrap around the straw as she drains half of the drink before looking at him again.
"What more can I say? I am sorry, I mean, I've typed it so many times, but the courage never arrives to actually send it. I've called quite a few times, well, dialed six of the numbers, but it seemed better just to leave you alone." He unsuccessfuly motions at the waitress for a water.
"So, why are we here today?" She gains the attention of the waitress and watches as he orders.
"Why?"
"Yeah, this is far from leaving me alone? You send me a weird, long ass letter, vague as usual, so of course I show up, being a idiot as usual." Her drink splashes across the table as she slams down the glass - the waitress, all waitresses, turn to investigate.
"I just wanted a chance to see you again, an opportunity to apologize." He fishes the lemon from the water with the straw. It bounces as it hits the table.
"I was scared. I was confused. I didn't know what I was doing. The drinking and other stuff didn't help."
"And I knew what I was doing?"
"No, I didn't mean that, I can never justify anything, I can never go back, I'd go back in time and change everything if I could, but that is unrealistic. I want your forgiveness." His hands grip the table, holding back the urge to reach across the table. A door to the kitchen swings open nearby and a wave of air crosses the table, covering him with her scent, a scent he had never forgotten.
"You can't have it."
"What?"
"I said, you can't have my forgiveness. I gave you everything else, but that is one thing that you can't have. You were, I mean are, a selfish prick, so live with it." She drains the rest of the drink while reaching for her purse.
"I love you, I always have and I always will." He looks away, seeing her car in the parking lot.
"Yeah, so you said." She pauses with purse in lap while watching him.
"You don't believe me?"
"No, I do, and that is the problem. It is an easy thing to say, but harder to do it. Your actions never matched your words. I know you are working your twelve step thingy, so move on to somebody else. I'm not sure why you put all that shit in your letter." She dabs at her eyes with the napkin, trying to avoid crying.
"Well, I have a problem, well lots of problems, but I need to work these steps and try to be a better person. I kind of knew you'd never forgive me, and you're not alone with that sentiment, but I had to try. You were the one and I blew it and I have to live with that fact."
"Yeah, I have to live with it to, you're always thinking about yourself."
"I never stopped thinking about you."
"Well, you need to."
The chair moans as she pushes away from the table and stands, stopping briefly to double-check she has everything. She flashes a frown and moves quickly for the door. He turns and watches the woman he loves, knowing he has lost her forever, knowing there is nothing he can or ever will be able to say to get her back. He swallows hard, fighting back tears, as his eyes fall on her drink - he reaches for the glass and shakes while contemplating the next move.
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