"Look, don't worry about." A wave of
her perfume washed over me as she leaned forward and patted my knee.
"What do you mean don't worry about? Look around, people won't let me not worry about it." I randomly waved my arms until I caught a glimpse of myself in a nearby window. I cringed while quickly returning the arms to a natural position.
"When did you start worrying about other people's opinions?" She pushed my knee as she fell back in her chair. The look of disgust on her face was pure drama, but I liked it.
"When they all started agreeing and sharing them - over and over. You know, after a while it is hard to avoid believing me, at least a little." I rubbed my hands through my hair as my head felt like it would explode. I gently rubbed my temples and closed my eyes.
"Fuck them!" Her face was red with embarrassment as the reply was louder than planned, but nobody seemed to notice.
"Yeah, I know." The defeat was obvious as I rubbed my eyes and examined my new cheerleader.
"People who act so self-righteous have their own secrets, so find a few a use it against them." She rubbed her hands together as a manic glee covered her face. She seemed to have somebody in mind.
"Well, I did discover a few things, but why kick a dead horse?" I felt the anger return. It is understandable to be judged when there is wrong and a stack of lies, but discovering lies about others that were once close to you can be disheartening.
"No, fuck that, nobody gives a shit about that. Shit, you had to be the only person who didn't know about them. Anyway, I'm thinking of some of the others." The whiteness of the hands was visible as she clenched her fists. There was a mountain of untapped anger under all that hair.
"Let's just drop it. It isn't so bad. At least I have a solid reason to hate people." I pushed a smile across my face - hoping to calm her down.
"Shit, you're no fun." Her coat fell to the floor as she stood. She smoothed her skirt and surveyed the surroundings as I retrieved the jacket.
"I guess, but I really appreciate the support and I'll keep it in mind." I suddenly wanted her gone, long gone. I hoped there would be no more speeches as I craved some time alone.
"No problem and you have my number, if you ever need to talk." Her arms hung in the air waiting for a hug as I obliged. She was gone and the whole conversation seemed like a dream.
I smiled at the idea of taking others down. I knew where to find the previous man, but she was right when she said it was pointless. My eyes glazed over as I sat staring out the window - watching a woman on a smoke break but never catching one detail of her form.
"What do you mean don't worry about? Look around, people won't let me not worry about it." I randomly waved my arms until I caught a glimpse of myself in a nearby window. I cringed while quickly returning the arms to a natural position.
"When did you start worrying about other people's opinions?" She pushed my knee as she fell back in her chair. The look of disgust on her face was pure drama, but I liked it.
"When they all started agreeing and sharing them - over and over. You know, after a while it is hard to avoid believing me, at least a little." I rubbed my hands through my hair as my head felt like it would explode. I gently rubbed my temples and closed my eyes.
"Fuck them!" Her face was red with embarrassment as the reply was louder than planned, but nobody seemed to notice.
"Yeah, I know." The defeat was obvious as I rubbed my eyes and examined my new cheerleader.
"People who act so self-righteous have their own secrets, so find a few a use it against them." She rubbed her hands together as a manic glee covered her face. She seemed to have somebody in mind.
"Well, I did discover a few things, but why kick a dead horse?" I felt the anger return. It is understandable to be judged when there is wrong and a stack of lies, but discovering lies about others that were once close to you can be disheartening.
"No, fuck that, nobody gives a shit about that. Shit, you had to be the only person who didn't know about them. Anyway, I'm thinking of some of the others." The whiteness of the hands was visible as she clenched her fists. There was a mountain of untapped anger under all that hair.
"Let's just drop it. It isn't so bad. At least I have a solid reason to hate people." I pushed a smile across my face - hoping to calm her down.
"Shit, you're no fun." Her coat fell to the floor as she stood. She smoothed her skirt and surveyed the surroundings as I retrieved the jacket.
"I guess, but I really appreciate the support and I'll keep it in mind." I suddenly wanted her gone, long gone. I hoped there would be no more speeches as I craved some time alone.
"No problem and you have my number, if you ever need to talk." Her arms hung in the air waiting for a hug as I obliged. She was gone and the whole conversation seemed like a dream.
I smiled at the idea of taking others down. I knew where to find the previous man, but she was right when she said it was pointless. My eyes glazed over as I sat staring out the window - watching a woman on a smoke break but never catching one detail of her form.
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