The slamming of the car door echoed across the parking lot as I
made my way to the building. The sky blinked with lightning as I walked across
the rain soaked ground. I turned to the left and watched a young couple holding
hands while walking toward a nearby playground. I chided myself for not
following the sidewalk as the mud collected on my sneakers.
The euphoria slowly faded as I neared the stairs. I leaned against the rail with my left hand steading my body as I scraped my shoes against the bottom step. I stepped over the collected mud as I climbed the stairs. It was a familiar route traveled numerous times but everything now seemed foreign.
I stopped at the top of the steps and stood motionless as my eyes rested on the door. I had raced over here to bang on that door and see that face, but I was suddenly unable to move. It was a terrible feeling that I can only describe as doom that filled my body. I gripped the rail to avoid an accident as my eyes fell on the ground.
All the months or even years of doubt seemed to disappear in that one moment. It was like that brief moment after an orgasm when there are no troubles and your thinking is crystal clear before reality returns.
The door mocked me in its dark corner as I took one step backward. I wanted to run, to disappear, but felt it necessary to keep an eye on the target as I slowly backed down the stairs. Step by step the door slowly sunk out of view. The sound of a car door closing startled me as I reached the bottom step. I turned slowly while silently praying it would not be her. God had other plans that night.
The dark hair collapsed under the rain drops as she stood motionless. Our eyes met and locked. I wanted to say and do the right things. My moment of clarity had shown me there was no way to go back, that some mistakes are too much to overcome. Her eyes seemed to agree with me as the rain increased.
I stepped onto the grass again as she maintained her perch on the sidewalk. I resisted the urge to run as I methodically returned to my car. The lights blinked as I pressed the security button. I pulled the door open and turned to face the building. She maintained her position on the sidewalk.
I contemplated a wave, a simple nod of the head, or even a thumbs-up but abandoned all choices and slammed the door while pushing the key in the ignition. The thought of horror movies where the car refuses to start filled my mind as the engine quickly responded. I slammed the knob to reverse and pushed on the gas. Hey eyes followed the vehicle as I crept from the cramped lot.
I resisted the urge to turn for a last look while turning the corner. I hoped she didn't get sick from the rain before realizing it was not my place to hope such things. I laughed at the irony of the Glen Fry tune blaring from the eighties station.
when it comes to love
there's no easy answer
only you can say
what you're gonna do
Silence filled the interior as I slapped the radio. I mashed the pedal and pushed the speedometer to eighty as I sped down the ramp to the interstate. It was an odd sensation to have no doubts about where I was going.
The euphoria slowly faded as I neared the stairs. I leaned against the rail with my left hand steading my body as I scraped my shoes against the bottom step. I stepped over the collected mud as I climbed the stairs. It was a familiar route traveled numerous times but everything now seemed foreign.
I stopped at the top of the steps and stood motionless as my eyes rested on the door. I had raced over here to bang on that door and see that face, but I was suddenly unable to move. It was a terrible feeling that I can only describe as doom that filled my body. I gripped the rail to avoid an accident as my eyes fell on the ground.
All the months or even years of doubt seemed to disappear in that one moment. It was like that brief moment after an orgasm when there are no troubles and your thinking is crystal clear before reality returns.
The door mocked me in its dark corner as I took one step backward. I wanted to run, to disappear, but felt it necessary to keep an eye on the target as I slowly backed down the stairs. Step by step the door slowly sunk out of view. The sound of a car door closing startled me as I reached the bottom step. I turned slowly while silently praying it would not be her. God had other plans that night.
The dark hair collapsed under the rain drops as she stood motionless. Our eyes met and locked. I wanted to say and do the right things. My moment of clarity had shown me there was no way to go back, that some mistakes are too much to overcome. Her eyes seemed to agree with me as the rain increased.
I stepped onto the grass again as she maintained her perch on the sidewalk. I resisted the urge to run as I methodically returned to my car. The lights blinked as I pressed the security button. I pulled the door open and turned to face the building. She maintained her position on the sidewalk.
I contemplated a wave, a simple nod of the head, or even a thumbs-up but abandoned all choices and slammed the door while pushing the key in the ignition. The thought of horror movies where the car refuses to start filled my mind as the engine quickly responded. I slammed the knob to reverse and pushed on the gas. Hey eyes followed the vehicle as I crept from the cramped lot.
I resisted the urge to turn for a last look while turning the corner. I hoped she didn't get sick from the rain before realizing it was not my place to hope such things. I laughed at the irony of the Glen Fry tune blaring from the eighties station.
when it comes to love
there's no easy answer
only you can say
what you're gonna do
Silence filled the interior as I slapped the radio. I mashed the pedal and pushed the speedometer to eighty as I sped down the ramp to the interstate. It was an odd sensation to have no doubts about where I was going.
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