Respectfully No

Dear Sir:

Your submission arrived with great fanfare at our spacious Manhattan office. It was immediately placed at the top of the 'to be read' stack presented to our army of editors who repeatedly lifted it to retrieve others. We finally made one of our junior interns process it and they could not have been more confused. They immediately made notes and sought the counsel of a more seasoned editor who, in turn, read it and was just as confused. At this point, your creation was stuffed into the trash can, but the intern remembered it was an outside submission so they retrieved and smoothed the copy to gather your contact information. Subsequently, this rejection letter was created. While we will not publish this piece and cannot think of any outlet that would, we suggest you seek professional help and guidance. I really wanted to add some notes here to improve your creation, but I just cannot find any positive feedback to share. We have discarded our copy and suggest you do the same with yours.

Respectfully yours,

Ed I Tor