Abyss

You lean forward, head in hands, staring at the floor. The mind can't comprehend what it doesn't understand. The door is locked and the lights are off. How can others understand that which you can't explain? You think of doctors, but there is nothing physically wrong. The world was at your fingertips only yesterday, but the storm clouds moved in slowly - always slowly. There were hints of what lay ahead - the irritability and indecisiveness. You brushed off the warnings - as always thinking you had it under control. There is nobody easier to deceive than yourself. The chair rocks as you lean back and collect yourself. Tears seem possible, even appropriate, but nothing comes. The darkness is soothing, but your eyes have adjusted. It is on the desk just out of your reach. You stare at it while quickly reviewing the plan in your head. Your body lurches forward as you reach for it, but you stop - your hand hovering within inches of it. Suddenly, images flash in your mind and you slowly shake your head. Your body relaxes and falls back in the chair. You watch the ceiling as the chair rocks back and forth. You berate your lack of courage. The doorknob slowly turns accompanied by knock on the door.