You know

The day is going well. You finish what needs to be done. The light switch is pushed and the chair pushed under the desk. The doorknob turns in your hand as they approach. You turn and face them, thinking it'll be a quick good-bye. Your body and mind are not prepared for the onslaught - you are helpless, exposed with your guard down. It isn't the worst news - just a bit of negative feedback on a recent project, but your mind thinks otherwise. You feel the stomach drop and the mood flatline as the brief exchange ends. The mind rolls with thoughts and questions and as you try to regain control:

Why couldn't that wait until Monday?
Why did I screw it up?
I hate her.
They are wrong.
Crap, I screwed up again.
I better fix it.
I can't fix it.
Why didn't I leave five minutes earlier?
I can't do anything right.
What's the point?
Will I ever be right?
When will it end?
I am worthless.
I hate myself.
I am so stupid.

Again, the knob turns as you return to the desk. You sit in the dark, trying to fix something that can't be fixed. You are alone, always alone, while trying to return to the peace enjoyed earlier. Your head falls forward and lies on the desk. The day is ruined. You know what happened, but you can't fix it - you can't even stop it when you see it coming. The head shakes back-and-forth as you try to pull yourself together.

It is a delicate journey, forever monitoring and watching, waiting for the storms to arrive. When they do arrive, and they always do, it is a case of damage control as opposed to avoidance.