Empathy

In the end, I had a terrible flu or maybe it really was covid as my doctor kept saying tests could not be trusted (then why have them?). The fever took me to the brink of a hospital visit, but thankfully it never happened. It makes me think of a recent American President whose schtick was nothing could be trusted and question everything. Not the worst way to approach every day life, but it falls apart when the same person denigrates everything and acts like an idiots while thinking he is above the law, but I digress. Our health and bodies are fragile, they can be damaged or incapacitated at any moment with no warning. There is that moment of reflection when you try to remember when it may have happened, but it really serves no purpose. Illness teaches us many things, but in my situation it stressed the need to surrender and teaching it is okay to not be okay. Our society is goal or results driven that it can be hard to just retreat from the everyday, disengage and rest or heal. At some point, you have to surrender to it, accept the situation and do what is necessary to recuperate. In my case, I surrendered to my partner who, in turn, took care of me and restored, or repaired, our connection. I watched this beautiful person, I remembered this beautiful person that only I know to this extent. She took care of everything as I languished in fever-induced delusion and sleep. She was patient, thoughtful and loving, and it created another memory with this wonderful person. I called my illness, the stranger, as I did not see it coming, never knew it when it arrived and still have no definite terms to describe it. It will always remain a stranger to me other than the symptoms I experienced. She never became ill, so I am thankful that it appears I introduced no others to this stranger.