Live and let live

The hostess looks at me and then past me when I request a table for two. She asks when my companion is expected as I motion to my wife. With eyebrows raised, the hostess retrieves two menus and silverware bundles. "Do you have a booth or table preference?" She turns, still only addressing me, awaiting my reply. "No, well a booth, if one is available." I change my answer mid-sentence as I remember my wife prefers a booth. "Is this okay?" She sits us at a booth in the farthest corner of the restaurant and quickly disappears before either of us answer. "Is it me, or is there a pattern to the seating?" I motion to the rest of the room where it is obvious, or seems to be, that all of the minority patrons are in our area. She agrees and returns to the menu, more comfortable or accustomed to these facets of our society. We order drinks followed by entrees whereas my chicken selection comes with gravy. "Do you want white or brown gravy?" The waitresses eyes widen and silence envelopes us. Her words linger as I consider the question before processing how the question was posed. "I guess the brown is the obvious choice?" I laugh as it seemed like the only response that fit the situation. "I am so sorry, I didn't mean anything with the question." The waitress is fumbling over herself to explain something that was never said, but the apologize reveals so much. "It's fine." My wife ends it with two words and the waitress disappears. We have a laugh over the incident, briefly contemplate speaking with the manager and possibly getting a free meal. Does that really solve any problems? She more easily accepts these incidents whereas I still blindly think I can alter things, but I guess that is the definition of white privilege? How does this still happen today, over 50 years after the Supreme Court case Loving vs Virginia made such a union legal? Then again, fifty years is a drop in the bucket with history. Of course, not long ago one of our current Supreme Court justices discussed the possibility of rolling back laws pertaining to interracial marriages. He says these even while he is in such a marriage, is that the definition of self-hatred? The Respect for Marriage Act of 2022 provided protection as it provides statutory authority for same-sex and interracial marriages. Why is this necessary, so much has changed yet so much has not.